What Has YOUR Mother Taught YOU?

My own mother, who is worn out from teaching me life lessons.

My friend sent me this forward, and I had to laugh for every single one. My own mother did teach me a few of these, and I am currently teaching a few more to my boys. Absolutely RICH. Thank you, Abbynaka.

• 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
• 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
• 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
• 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
• 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
• 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
• 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
• 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
• 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
• 10. My mother taught me a bout STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
• 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
• 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
• 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
• 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
• 15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
• 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
• 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
• 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
• 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
• 20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
• 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
• 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
• 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
• 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
• 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!