The First (Legit) Lost Tooth

If you'll recall, the other lost teeth weren't so much lost, as pulled in a harrowing day-surgery experience... Notice proud "Poppa" in the background. He was showing his loose tooth, wiggled it for effect, and it just popped out. I wish I could have captured the look on his face. Good times. The Tooth Fairy left five bucks.

Dear (Other) Maureen March,

OK. I'm an understanding person. In the seven years I have rocked your name, I have recieved several phone calls/solicitations from creditors and debt collection agencies. They seem to want you to pay up - the University of Alaska, some nice people you morgaged your fifth-wheel from, and a credit card company to name a few. At first I laughed it off. "Ha, ha. You have confused me with another Maureen March." However, in the last few months, I have been hounded by these people - now through the mail. You are freaking me out, Other Maureen March. Now my phone number AND my address is linked to YOU. How long until my social security number is too? Look, I understand our economy is in the toilet and everything, but your decision to live off the grid is effecting moi. How about consulting a non-profit debt consolodation company? I'm starting to think my un-holy link to you is intentional on your part. If this is the case, you are offending me, and other Maureen Marches the world over. Get it together, get a JOB, and PAY YOUR BILLS!!! Sincerely, Maureen Jolae Grabow March Who Pays Her Bills