March Madness

Saturdays in October...

2010-10-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

...are full of soccer games. Chase is not the most aggressive player. Neither is anyone else on our team, so we are learning lots of defensive skills. As you can see by the photo, he is nowhere NEAR the ball. He is having fun though, so I suppose that's what counts.This afternoon we made a visit to the pumpkin patch in Alleghany. This was the first year it's been there, and it was fantastic! They boasted face painting, cookie decorating, hay rides, a grass maze (less intense than corn mazes - and you were looking for treasure), AND lovely pumpkins. Oh yeah, and it didn't rain. So for Oregon pumpkin patches, it was pretty amazing!

Road Trip!

2010-07-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

Yes. Shawn and I piled the kids, luggage, camping gear, and various electronic devices designed to entertain into our Honda and headed east to visit Auntie Monica and Uncle Scott in (humid!) Minneapolis. We were gone three weeks. We had a blast, but it's too fresh to blog every detail. I just can't go there yet. Anyway, here are a few of the highlights... We were worn out in the evenings! They were staying up pretty late, so when they crashed, they CRASHED. We had to take a picture to remind them later that they really DO like each other - even when one crosses the invisible backseat line to pester thy neighbor. Did we ask complete strangers to take family photos? Oh, yes. Several times... well, now that I think about it, maybe just once... ...or twice. These may be the only photos we have with all four of us. Look for one on an upcoming Christmas card. I must go now and laze on my own couch with my own television. It's nice to be home sweet home.

Facebook Killed the Blogging Star

2010-04-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

I tell you, there is a direct coorelation between my negletfulness in adding posts here, and my relatively new-found on-line hobby. And for the life of me, I can't tell you why I find the mundane details of other people's lives so gosh-darn interesting. Like when someone takes their kids to Costco, or someone else goes on a three-mile run. Is my life better for reading these things? And are other people better off knowing that I just put a pot roast in the oven (OK, busted. I've never done that), or that I can't wait for Friday? Doubtful. So why is that site my first stop when I get to a computer? Mmm. Not quite sure. I know I need to take some more pictures of my kids and write insightful things on this blog for people to read - but you can see all that on the evil Facebook, and check your Farmville at the same time! How can I compete with the one-stop shop? I'm starting to feel like the family-owned grocery store hating the Wal-Mart. I should most definetly get over myself. No one reads this junk anyhow! Plus, I find Wal-Mart extremely vital to my existence. So Facebook on everone; I'll be checking in to join new fan sites and check my friend suggestions like everyone else. Just don't forget about the little bloggers out there. In return, I'll try to post more than once every other month in the future!

The First (Legit) Lost Tooth

2010-01-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

If you'll recall, the other lost teeth weren't so much lost, as pulled in a harrowing day-surgery experience... Notice proud "Poppa" in the background. He was showing his loose tooth, wiggled it for effect, and it just popped out. I wish I could have captured the look on his face. Good times. The Tooth Fairy left five bucks.

Dear (Other) Maureen March,

2010-01-06T20:02:00.000-08:00

OK. I'm an understanding person. In the seven years I have rocked your name, I have recieved several phone calls/solicitations from creditors and debt collection agencies. They seem to want you to pay up - the University of Alaska, some nice people you morgaged your fifth-wheel from, and a credit card company to name a few. At first I laughed it off. "Ha, ha. You have confused me with another Maureen March." However, in the last few months, I have been hounded by these people - now through the mail. You are freaking me out, Other Maureen March. Now my phone number AND my address is linked to YOU. How long until my social security number is too? Look, I understand our economy is in the toilet and everything, but your decision to live off the grid is effecting moi. How about consulting a non-profit debt consolodation company? I'm starting to think my un-holy link to you is intentional on your part. If this is the case, you are offending me, and other Maureen Marches the world over. Get it together, get a JOB, and PAY YOUR BILLS!!! Sincerely, Maureen Jolae Grabow March Who Pays Her Bills

Poor Neglected Blog

2009-11-06T18:24:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't posted in over a month. My apologies to all six of my readers. Things have been busy in March-land, but I can't quite put my finger on why. When I really think of the things I have accomplished since school began, the list is lame... 1. I caught up on all my Nip/Tuck thanks to Netflix. I can now watch season six with the help of TiVo. 2. Hayden appears to show curiousity regarding the toilet. I vow to take this on over Christmas break. 3. I conquered the Schoolmaster program at work. I thought it may get the best of me, but I came out on top. 4. I am currently renewing the teaching license... although after my day at school, I am wondering why. 5. Ummmm. Like I said. The list is lame. Particularly compared to this list of things I WANT to accomplish...

WHAT?!

2009-09-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

Chase started kindergarten today. Wow. Major milestone. I cannot think of anything else to say that doesn't sound enormously corny, but it all applies ("They grow so fast," "Wasn't he just born yesterday?" etc.).While I'm living the milestones - Hayden, would you mind pooping in the toilet? I'm ready.

If You're Going To San Francisco...

2009-08-07T16:24:00.000-07:00

... (sing along now) be sure to wear some sneakers on your feet! We walked EVERYWHERE. What a good time! We spent two days with the lovely Lin family, taking our children to actual restaurants with waiters and such. This was our first family vacation where Shawn and I found ourselves having fun with our children... Perhaps that didn't come out right... well, yeah it kinda did. We enjoy them at home, but when we take them on a trip... you guys get it, right? Anyway, in three days we did the zoo, the aquarium, the warf, the trolley car, and Alcatraz. The boys were troopers, and totally into everything. Even the 10 hour car drive wasn't that terrible. We may take them out on another vacation before they each turn 18.

Prehistoric Gardens in Prehistoric Times

2009-07-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

If you want to feel seriously old, take your children somewhere, and photograph them where you once stood as a child. I'm sure there's a picture of Shawn in front of the T-Rex at the Prehistoric Gardens south of Port Orford as well, but I may have to search a while to find it. I wonder how many times this poor animal has been the backdrop for a photo opp. He is a testament to the longevity of paper mache, most definitely. Do not inspect my photo too closely - you will find numerous fashion faux pas, most notably my navy socks with sandals (this was probably uncool the mid1980's day it was taken). Thankfully, my hood is hiding a dreadful femulet. Perhaps someday, Chase and Hayden can post similar compare/contrast pieces on their blogs. Three generations of giant-dinosaur-statue-loving-children...

Daddy's Big Helpers

2009-07-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

Shawn built a patio in our backyard this week. This is what they call, "helping Daddy." This looks strikingly similar to "helping" with other assorted chores. I wonder what the work force holds in store for them.

June 29, 2002

2009-06-29T16:23:00.001-07:00

We have been married seven years today! Doesn't this couple look young and fresh-faced? They have not yet spent years enduring sleepless nights, screaming airplane rides, severe infantile dairy allergies, and millions of poopy diapers. I must say, I wouldn't take this ride with anyone else! Happy anniversary, Shawn!

Life Recently (In Photos)

2009-06-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

The spring is disappearing quickly! Here are some recent happenings:

Chase graduated from preschool!

Hello, Kindergarten! Here we are doing the Hokey-Pokey in celebration:

Hayden is blowing out the candles on his third birthday cake!

We took a weekend trip to Newport. Both boys loved the sea lions below the pier. My excellent friend Becca is getting married. Here is the best shower/batchelorette gift ever. I would tell the story, but I think you had to be there... I promise, this blog and I will get really friendly this summer! Stay tuned!

So Happy!

2009-05-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

How lucky is Brendan that THIS girl is his mom?!We are so happy and excited for you, Abby and Matt!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T16:05:00.001-07:00

Pretend you are reading People Magazine. Who wore it better? I can't decide. Chase went with a classic look, while Hayden put a stylish (lop eared) twist. Will homemade head decorations ever stop being funny?

Hayden The Deer Whisperer

2009-03-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

Animals love this kid! Here he is with his latest block masterpiece. He was so proud of himself!

Someone is 5!

2009-03-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

At the risk of sounding horrible corny: THEY GROW UP SO FAST!!! It seems like this kid just came out yesterday; all 8 pounds, 10 ounces (with no epidural for Mommy, thank you very much). All colic and no peace. Chase now does homework before bed. Without complaint, I might add. He also loves the computer, navigating YouTube and ISpy independently. He recognizes about 5 sight words, including his Chase, Hayden, fire, trucks, stop and McDonalds (because my parenting skills ROCK). He talks on the phone. Here he is telling Auntie Monica all about his birthday party. He loves baths, Transformers, and torturing his little brother. He hates cleaning his room, vegetables, and sharing toys. When he grows up he wants to be a firefighter. Every day he asks when Kindergarten starts. He counts to 100 every time we ride in the car, and always demands stickers from the girl at the bank. He is too big to ride in the shopping cart, thank you very much, unless it's the kind with a car attached, or the big kind you can ride underneath. He loves to chew gum, but leaves it wherever he pleases when he's finished with it (goodbye lovely furniture!). He has taken a recent interest in video games. He loooooves helping Daddy do anything around the house. I have a feeling next time I turn around he'll be steering a car instead of his new bike with training wheels. He'll be wanting money for nights out with his buddies, playing football (hopefully not for the Ducks), and bringing girls home. Sigh. In the meantime, I'll be saving pictures like these to embarrass him down the line. I have officially turned into THAT MOM. And he has officially turned into a big boy. Happy birthday, Bud.

I Stink at Blogging

2009-01-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

Alright. Just lately. But in my defense, I have been very busy. Here is the top 10 list of reasons why I have not blogged in over a month: 1. I bowl. On a league. I'm not kidding. 2. The theater has had auditions and rehearsals have begun. 3. Shawn is finishing his final year in nursing school. He studies NONSTOP. I admire the enthusiasm, and wish to nap through June when it's over. He probably does too! 4. School is so much WORK this year. I feel like this blend is making me do twice as much work. My kids are awesome though, so I can't complain. 5. Chase has homework. In preschool. The teacher in me looooves this. He isn't always as excited. 6. Hello! Lost has started. I'm so confused... and addicted. 7. Hayden is talking! So I have to listen! 8. Facebook sucks up much of my internet time lately. I don't know why! 9. My Netflix queue is getting longer every minute. 10. Well, sometimes I'm just plain lazy! Sorry, no new pictures or exciting stories. Just life. Stay tuned. I'm sure something fabulous from the March house will happen soon!

Funny Story

2008-12-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

So, today I take Chase out for some last minute Christmas shopping. Well, ok, not EXACTLY last minute - I will do THAT shopping Tuesday or Wednesday. Anyway, we are out, and we see a pair of sunglasses we should grab for Daddy's present. On the way to the car, I coach Christmas Present Protocol: "What do you say if Daddy asks what we bought?" "I'm not telling. It's a secret." Ok. Upon our arrival at home, I mention to Shawn that we bought his gift. Chase pipes up, "Yeah. We got you sunglasses, but we won't tell, because it's a secret." I guess we're not at the I-won't-be-sharing-the-details-of-your-Christmas-present phase of development.

Birthday Cooties

2008-12-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

Why would a 32 year-old spend her birthday eating pizza and cake, and playing Cootie? When her party planner is a four year-old. The other day, when I mentioned my upcoming birthday, Chase announced, "I have never been to YOUR birthday party!" So today he planned my "party." Pizza, a birthday cake complete with my name on it in wonderful Wal-Mart sugar-disgusting frosting (an EXCELLENT gift from my friends Laurel, Christie, and Jamie), and a rousing game of Cootie. The version we have was my father's - manufactured in 1949. My kids had never played with this set, and it was fun to think of my dad rolling the same dice with four year-old hands. I bet he never imagined that someday his grandkids would play with one of his beloved games. I am guessing he cheated too! Happy birthday to me!

Howdy, Pilgrim!

2008-11-26T20:16:00.000-08:00

(that was in a John Wayne voice, in case you hadn't realized)Don't you just love this picture? The hat from pre-school had me laughing. So did the talk of "pioneers" that accompanied it. I do believe this is the first of many, "Jeez mom, do you REALLY need to take a picture?" moments! And the following is a shout-out for Sarah-naka:Just know there are two more desserts in my freezer... Happy Thanksgiving!

A Message From Chase About Halloween

2008-11-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Halloween has come and gone. The fall is FLYING by. Of course, it all begins with a pumpkin (or four)... Here you can see the painstaking pumpkin selection process. It involves a great deal of running amuk through the patch and periodically stopping to inspect pumpkins by smacking them harshly. After you have chosen pumpkins, it then is necessary to carve your pumpkins. Mommy prefers to remove shirts before sticky, then hardened pumpkin gut boogers crust onto clothing permanently. Better just to throw you in the tub afterwards. Don't worry about actually doing any of the work yourself. It's much more fun to hide the tools from Mommy and Daddy, or pretend to eat them and watch grown-ups freak out! Do make sure to take a "back seat driver" approach to the carving process by constantly reminding Mommy and Daddy how to carve, in what shapes to carve, and when the pumpkin is finished (or not). When the jack-o-lanterns make it to the porch, keep Mom and Dad posted regarding when to light and when to extinguish. They are not annoyed by this at all - especially when it is time to get ready for bed. We're too cute to be in trouble anyway. Also, be sure to mention trick-or-treating every day from now until Halloween. Mom and Dad might forget to take you, after all. Before the big day INSIST on a bulky costume that is way too big. That way it can cause trouble walking around and frustrate the whole bunch you are spending your evening with. Just kidding. No one is ever frustrated by me. We're too cute, remember? When you are out on the big night, use a large container. Mine was way too small, and limited me to only enough candy to last my family a few days. Lesson learned for next year. Although if you take a sibling, this may double your load. Particularly when he figures out what's going on and trick-or-treats like a normal kid, instead of trying to enter every house where the door opens. When your parents coax you back into the house, scarf down a Kid Cuisine so you can mow down on some candy - then insist on three pieces at least. This leaves a little room in your stomach to beg for pieces from the bowl meant for other trick-or-treaters. It helps if you insist on being in charge of the candy bowl. And when you are in charge, take your duties seriously. Remind children to take "ONE PIECE OF CANDY!" and be sure to say, "THANK YOU FOR TRICK-OR-TREATING AT OUR HOUSE! COME AGAAAAAAAIN!" Don't worry - this doesn't scare little kids at all. When the candy runs out, use brother's - save yours at all costs. When it's bed time, be sure to stand watch at your bedroom window for out-of-luck kids who attempt to ring the doorbell. Lastly, let Mommy and Daddy go out while you stay home with Grandma. They may need a drink after the day they have had. I know I'm hard work, but I am totally worth it - but if you ask me, the jury is still out on my little brother. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! - Love, Chase

More Fun With Pillows

2008-10-25T14:43:00.001-07:00

Wait for the, "He cracks me nuts!" ending!

I Don't Care Who You Who You Are...

2008-10-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

...Pillows are fun. Also, we are doing some new weird camera flash smile.

Names Have Been Changed...

2008-09-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

...to protect the not-so-innocent.

(Mrs. March is on duty at afternoon recess. Two 7 year-old girls approach.)
Sally: Mrs. March, Joe hit meeeeee.
Mrs. March: Tell Joe to come talk to me.
(Joe approaches with scowl and head down.)
Mrs. March: Did you hit Sally?
Joe: (mumble) Yes.
Mrs. March: Why did you hit Sally?
(enormous pause with Joe wearing a "thinking look.")
Mrs. March: Why did you hit Sally?
Joe: ummmm... She had a plan to hit me.

I have a plan to give my recess duty to my student teacher...

Too Cool For School

2008-09-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

I survived my first day of teaching a 1-2 blend. Just 171.5 days to go!

The March Family Takes Flight!

2008-08-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

When Shawn and I do something, we don't do it halfway. We don't take our children on wussie one hour flights to Disneyland for a weekend. Noooooo. We pack our children for a two-week travel extravagana that involves six flights and covers 6000 miles roundtrip. We planned a trip to Minneapolis and Boston. Although flying was not enjoyable, seeing beloved friends and family made it entirely worthwhile and memorable.First, we visited Auntie Monica and Uncle Scott. We spent a day at Mall of America, Cascade Bay Water Park, and the Minnesota Zoo. Auntie Monica and Uncle Scott were excellent activity directors/children spoilers. As can be seen from this picture, Hayden loves his auntie so much, he fell asleep. Chase was glued to her side for three days. The zoo was probably the favorite. Chase loved this bear that swam and played right in front of him. Then it was off to Boston, to see my beloved Nakas. Over the ten years we have been out of school, we have changed considerably. We have aquired husbands, purchased homes, and had children. I have to bring on the sap and say that our friendships remain as important and special to me as they were in the dorms of BU. Sniff, sniff. OK. Apparently not that special, because I didn't take a picture of a SINGLE adult without a child in the shot. Here are some fun pictures of offspring.This is Emma about to eat in a highchair. Emma also took us to the New England Aquarium. I loved all her "wowwwws!" Connor and Chase are sharing a moment. Connor's mommy and daddy were very good sports, and didn't kick us to the curb when our child was throwing up in their home. Emma was so good at sharing toys! This may be my favorite picture of the trip! We had an excellent day (kiddie)poolside. Chase was having fun here with Abby and Sarah.

Thank you to everyone who put up with us invading their homes. All four of us had an AWESOME time. Any of you are welcome to make the journey here...and "get this party started!"

SOS!!!

2008-07-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

My beloved Dyson is in the shop for repairs. Yes, that's correct. The almighty, lifetime guaranteed, never loses suction, vacuum to beat all other vacuums is BROKEN. No suck, which REALLY sucks. In the mean time, my OCD is really taking a hit. I didn't realize what an important relationship I had with the DC-17 Animal. The whole, "Don't know what you got 'till it's gone," phenomenon, you see (yes, cue the old butt-rock ballad). Anyway, this has impacted me so deeply that I feel the need to blog about it. If you need to find me, I'll be impatiently waiting out my 7 to 10 business days and picking graham cracker crumbs from the area rug by hand. Heaven forbid anyone eat those on the hardwood floor. Happy vacuuming to the rest of you.

Fun In The Trailer

2008-07-17T20:50:00.001-07:00

We went camping last week, and the picture here is super dark. That's because it's time for bed, but instead Hayden is playing a little game called, "throw the block and watch Chase retrieve it." As you can hear, it is very entertaining.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2008-06-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

I bet you never thought that thing in your tummy would someday be able to post a picture of you on computer screens accessable to anyone in the world at the push of a button. Happy birthday!

The Best Dad Ever

2008-06-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to the greatest man I know (he also makes a comfy napping spot). Love, your adoring wife

What The Big Boys Do

2008-06-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

We brush our teeth.We play in the sand. We make a mess of ourselves with sand. We enjoy blue frosting on our SECOND birthday cake (but do NOT enjoy the beer you see in the background). We graduate from the preschool three year-old class in Hawaiian outfits. We do lots of other things too, but usually Mommy is too busy trying to stop us to grab the camera and take a picture.

How I Spent My Mother's Day Weekend...

2008-05-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Can you say, Batchelorette party in Portland? Hilarious. I highly reccomend Darcell's for all your party fun. The performers are... well, not ladies. In fact, this is on the program: "THAT's no lady!" It was SOOOO worth the $15. And yes, we wore matching shirts. Keep your opinions to yourself.Cella and I wore matching jeans too. Here's the proof. Total strangers will take pictures of any girl in a matching shirt who asks. See that guy in the middle? That's him as Bette Midler. I'm not kidding. Sorry, I was unable to rotate the image, but dude. That gem is Darcell himself. He does pre-show interviews. Laugh riot. In the end, two happy brides-to-be. Congrats, Jenny and Alisha!

Another Naka Turns 31!

2008-04-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

I hope this happened with birthday cake today! Love ya, Sarahnaka!

Big Brother Top Five

2008-04-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

First of all, if you think I'm nerdy because I'm making a blog post dedicated to Big Brother 9, you should do yourself a little Google search. There are blogs DEDICATED to this program. I am a very small fish in a highly obsessed pool - although I can and will check such sites daily. Anyhoo, here are the remaining five in the order of who I would like to see voted off. 1. Natalie. Ew. I know I should love her because she's from my hometown, but it's hard to love someone who calls herself a "bikini barista." Also, her voice is more than annoying, and I can't stand people who strategize according to what The Lord told them. I seriously don't think God watches Big Brother (although I pray I have cable access in Heaven). 2. Sheila. Appealing to the older BB9 fan base (yes, I will use Big Brother abbreviations, because I am super cool), she refers to other houseguests as "kids." She thinks she's smarter than all of them, which automatically makes her dumber than all of them... 3. Ryan. Eh. I can take him or leave him. He started the game with his girlfriend (Jen: yuck), and he's played a much better game without her. He has a strong alliance with Natalie, which makes me queasy. 4. Adam. Even though he's tight with Ryan and Natalie, and I can't understand what he's saying 9/10 of the time due to the fact he speaks JockFromJersey-ese, I find him highly entertaining. I am operating under the assumption that he is smarter than he looks. 5. Sharon. She's the last person left from the alliance I was pulling for. She has played a smart, and not too decietful game. Plus she doesn't always want to run around the house in her swimsuit, and generally acts like a normal human being. I'm pulling for her, but I think her time is probably up soon... So there it is. I'm a BB addict.

Swimming With the Fishes

2008-03-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ah, Spring Break is over. For much of the week, the March Family remained in hiding. On Friday we decided we had better do something before our time was up, so we took a day trip to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. It had been a while since I'd been there (about the time "Free Willy" was on display). The boys loved it. They especially got a hoot out of the giant tank tunnels you walked through. I apologize for the poor quality photos. You see, I forgot the camera, and we were stuck with the over-priced disposable purchased from the gift shop. I am pretty ticked too, because I know the old Sony could have produced some quality. Anyway, my favorite part of the place is still the touch pool. They have plenty of benign sea creatures that don't mind thousands of grubbies invading the habitat for eight hours daily. Hayden would have jumped right in if he could have, while Chase wouldn't touch anything but the rocks. Chase's favorite by far was the shark tank. He is still going on about it, and the STINGRAYS! He found "Sharkie" in the gift shop. Shawn can tell you, Nakas, he found it on his own. I didn't influence him in anyway - except for the name! "Sharkie" has been up to all sorts of shenanigans at home - mostly biting people's noses and attacking unsuspecting little brothers. He also enjoys eating crayons, but I digress. And now it's back to the grind. Ten more weeks, and I'll be graduated! Shawn will have the summer off, and perhaps we'll return to the aquarium and visit the sharks... next time I will remember our camera!

Happy Easter!

2008-03-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

For some reason (probably me), I am having trouble posting this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4CgxFNCOrs

Happy Birthday, Abby-Naka!

2008-03-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

This is a few birthdays ago, Abby! I was going to crop out the crappy apartment background, but long live 1343 Comm. Ave. This one I threw in just for fun. Someone should have showed us what we would look like 10 years from that day. WE WERE SO NOT FAT! I'm not sure I should speak to you anymore though. A good friend would have told me to say no to orange hair. So happy 31, Abigail! I miss and love you much!

Brotherly Love

2008-03-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

Lately, the boys have taken to playing with each other. Not near each other, or interacting with the purpose of provoking the other, which has been the routine for at least six months. The other day, Hayden saw Chase break out the crayons, and crawled up to join him. Chase responded by SHARING the crayons, and presenting a drawing lesson (he IS half teacher, after all). In this peaceful moment, before crayons were used to draw on the air vents and had to be forcibly removed, I had to take a picture.I love the upper lip jut Chase puts on everytime he draws. Deep concentration.

Happy 65th Birthday, Dad!

2008-02-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

Gary, circa 1963.

Score One For Gershurd!

2008-02-17T20:06:00.001-08:00

Nicely played, Amy! And your timing is perfect: today is his birthday!

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

2008-02-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

A week with no new Bret episode is like a week with no sunshine. Sigh. Return, piece of television that sticks to the bottom of your shoe like irritating gum pieces! And does anyone else remember this hook-, I mean, LADY, Meghan, from Beauty and the Geek?! I can't stop watching this show. It seems the worse the VH1 reality television, the more I am riveted (stay tuned for posts about Celebrity Rehab). I: don't need nothin'/but a good time/and it don't get better than this! Or perhaps it does indeed get better than this, and I just can't find it... Regardless, if you wish to be dumber after a television experience, this might do the trick. Bret! Come back! I'll be swaying a lighter as I hold vigil!

Our First Snowman

2008-01-27T16:41:00.000-08:00

Alright. I know he resembles Sloth from The Goonies, but here on the southern Oregon coast, you don't have a lot of practice in these areas...

Bookworm

2008-01-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

He just crawled up in the chair with an Eric Carle favorite. I love it.

I Love My Children, I Love My Children

2008-01-04T09:51:00.000-08:00

Must repeat: I love my children. I say that so I will not sound like Britney when I tell you...THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. I must go back to work soon. This is my official hats off to you wonderful, WONDERFUL mothers who choose to stay home. The very fact you maintain sanity is a testament to your strength. Except for a quick trip to Coos Bay to pick up take-out, I have been with the children constantly since the start of my break (nearly two weeks). Incidently, that trip was suggested by my husband to purposefully separate me from the children for an hour. Let me just stress again -- I love my children. However, I cannot wait to be around my giant, independent, reading, potty-trained seven year-old first graders again. Stay tuned for next week's blog: I Love My Class, I Love My Class, where I will wish to be staying at home with my children...

Ho, Ho, Ho!!!

2007-12-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

Here is a peaceful holiday scene. Santa has arrived, but the children are asleep. Later, this living room will look like a train wreck (literally - many new trains will be played with).We left Santa the traditional Christmas Eve fare on the fireplace mantel -- a bean and cheese burrito and a Pepsi. We wouldn't want Santa to get sick from all the milk and cookies, and he could probably use the caffeine. We awakened around 7:00 a.m. to, "Santa brought me a mixer truck!" Feet running up and down the hall motivated me to get up myself. The look on faces is priceless Christmas morning. Abby, I just want you to know that Shawn made fun of me for putting them in matching pajamas Christmas morning, but they were so cute!!! It looks like the hundreds of dollars Santa spent at Toys R Us will buy Mommy and Daddy at least 45 minutes of peace and quiet. I suppose that was worth it. I hope All Six of You had a good holiday too. I'm off to find all the pieces of the new Play-Dough pirate ship before someone has a freak-out. Happy New Year from the March family!!!

It's Christmas, Me Mateys!

2007-12-22T12:22:00.001-08:00

Thanks, Abby! The pirate book was a hit as you can see. The batteries on the camera ran out before we finished, but you get the idea!

PS: Amy, I hate the sound of my own voice too!

Thanks, Saranaka!

2007-12-19T18:54:00.001-08:00

Posting videos is such fun! This is for you, Lin family!

This is What I Get...

2007-12-16T11:08:00.001-08:00

...in a house full of boys. Note: There is even a football game in the background.

I am seriously outnumbered.

Connor's Mom

2007-12-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

This girl is a momma. I love it. Congrats, Sarah and Steve!!!And yes, they are the same glasses seen below, in case you were wondering. Nice investment, Tia!

I Gotta Wear Shades

2007-12-01T18:29:00.000-08:00

If I ever try to claim this child isn't mine, my husband can provide the following evidence: Sunglasses provide hours of entertainment for us both.

In More Reality News...

2007-11-27T17:28:00.000-08:00

Please let this guy win Beauty and the Geek tonight...

Sigh...

2007-11-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Seriously lame and superficial qualities about to emerge. SERIOUSLY?! America REALLY voted out my friend Cameron before Marie?! I would threaten to quit watching, but all six of you know this will never happen. Look at him! That man can dance (not to mention the fine acting on AMC). I'm going to have to start voting. Then I will officially be a loser. Go Jennie Garth!

Arrrgh! Trick or Treat, Ya Scurvey Dog!

2007-10-31T20:48:00.000-07:00

Halloween. As a teacher, I'm trained to hate the idea. Let your children stay up late to knock on people's doors and beg for sugar products with no nutritional value. Unfortunately, I appreciate a mini Kit Kat as much as the next person, so having children who can provide them by working their first real job is a plus. Last year, Chase became wise enough to choose a costume idea for himself. Last year he was Thomas (see last October's posts). That one did not come as a complete surprise. This year, he informed us that he wanted to be a pirate. I'm not sure where that notion came from, if not from catching the last half hour of the second Johnny Depp flick 3 months ago. Anyway, he can be seen here with Dad, patiently waiting for the grandparent-parazzi to attempt in vain to take reasonable pictures of Pirate Number Two (I may have told five out of six readers already that this is most likely the only year I will be allowed to dress my kids in complimentary costumes). I also tried to take pictures of the boys together, but Hayden was not in a still pose mood. I failed to get a nice picture of the "pirate ship" grandma constructed from a wagon, a giant cardboard box, a broom handle and tag board. Very cute. Also, no one wanted to ride in it. We trick-or-treated about an hour before retreating to our much warmer home to answer the door. We cleared 300 pieces of candy by 8:00, and this time we only ate 10 ourselves. Here you can see the only good picture I grabbed of Hayden. It turns out that deckhands like burritos, which is handy when you need them to sit still for photographs. Since I actually ran out of candy this year, I have no choice but to raid Chase's Halloween loot. He's got three cavities, so I figure he really doesn't need it anyway. So happy Halloween to you and yours. So long, me mateys.

It's My Kid In a Box!

2007-10-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

SNL fans, I hope you were singing that title in your best Justin Timberlake. Don't think I wasn't while I was taking these pictures. And don't be concerned about the super long cord in the back. I was taking a vacuum break. I was also trying to put away a box of out-grown clothes, but Hayden has his own ideas.

(Number) 2 Major Milestones

2007-10-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

We have abandoned the high chair. Is anyone interested in the model shown? Chase: "Mommy! I just made the most giantest poop in the toilet. Take a picture." Seriously. I cannot make this stuff up. I love the two thumbs up.

Walking In a Pumpkin Wonderland

2007-10-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

Friday I had the day off, and so we decided to seize the opportunity to visit the pumpkin patch before the weather turned foul. I know, it's a little early to get in the festive Halloween spirit. Especially if you have a three year-old, who doesn't do patient. We want to go trick-or-treating NOW - like yesterday. The good news is that it wasn't very crowded, and we had our choice of some choice pumpkins. My only hope is that they don't rot before we carve them. As you can see, the kids had a blast. Hayden loved walking over and around the pumpkins. Chase, in true, "I'm three, and I'm the boss," fashion, chose everyone's pumpkin. My days of picking short fat pumpkins are over - my kid is more of a long and skinny pumpkin lover. The patch also boasted a haunted graveyard walk. The witch informed me that this is a lot less scary during daylight hours. I also suspected this on my own, judging from the admissions sign which indicated a $5 increase for nighttime viewing. Shawn and I decided to risk it. Picture Blair Witch meets Walmart during the day, which gave the rural Lakeside scene a Hills Have Eyes quality. For me, the scariest parts were the "engineers," who appeared to be working on the sets with mullets on head and beverages in hand. Anyway, Hayden enjoyed the walking practice, and Chase was getting a hoot out of it until the brush on the walk got thicker, and the skeleton scenes a little spookier. I was reminded of a time when my mom took my cousin and I through the Haunted House at the Enchanted Forest. She had a kid attached to each leg as she wound her way through that thing. Chase never cried or yelled, but he did inform me a few times that he wanted to turn around (ah, the whole internal struggle for Mommy, "Is it further if we go back or forward?"). He started walking ahead of me, then went to hand holding; then some Mommy-dragged-me transisitioned to I-dragged-Mommy. Shawn and I had to laugh -- Example: We walked past a skeleton in a stockade, and my husband mumbles, "That skeleton is there because he pooped his pants (a sore subject in the March house right now)." I kept comparing myself as a parent, to myself in the Enchanted Forest Haunted House. I wondered if Mom was amused as she was getting her calf and thigh workout. I'll bet it was more funny after she was out.

The Cutest Thank You Ever

2007-10-06T17:11:00.000-07:00

I am totally stealing this idea from my current husband's sister. I'll be using it for my next wedding. Very cool, Auntie Monica and Uncle Scott.

I'm So Busy, I Almost Forgot to Name This Post.

2007-10-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

Fall is here. That means you will have to be patient with me, as it seems like a few things have taken priority over this blog. Things such as my job, my graduate coursework, potty-training (nearly finished), Shawn's return to academia (full-time student/full-time job), catching garbage before it goes in mouths, finding clean unwrinkled clothes for work, cooking dinners, Monday Night Football, the Beavers, building train tracks, wiping noses, getting another glass of chocolate milk, selling jerky for someone's preschool class, and finding the perfect pirate costume. As you can see, I have not even taken a picture of the boys in a month (also, my camera is experiencing some sort of technical difficulties that are too frustrating to share right now). Did I mention Chase has THREE cavities? Get that Mother of the Year award prepped for me. I'll be getting mine along side of Britney. I know you all wait with baited breath for every post, so keep your oxygen tanks handy. It's going to be a long winter.

Channel Your Inner Six Year-Old

2007-09-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

So now that school is back in session, I have to put myself in the mindset of a six year-old. As a first grade teacher, I must communicate and impart various academic and life skills to students who will use them for life. So here is my inner six year-old... well me as a six year-old anyway. Yes, my inner six year-old is wearing a visor from an Applebee-esque establishment as a headband and finding it wildly funny. It is this type of humor I must deal with on a daily basis. How do I cope? I laugh. Hard. Like today when we were constructing patterns with blocks, and then transferring them to paper by gluing the corresponding paper shapes. I asked a child with a completed block pattern to get the paper shapes from the table; "You will need four yellows and two reds." A minute later I return to said child's desk and see four yellow CRAYONS, and two red CRAYONS. My EA and I had quite a chuckle as you can imagine, however Six Year-Old did not see the humor. I think he was wondering how six crayons were going to help him glue shapes on his paper. So even when a six year-old isn't trying to be funny, my inner six year-old is thoroughly entertained.

Some Wedding Highlights...

2007-09-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

Shawn's sister, Monica was married yesterday! The weather was perfect, the ceremony was beautiful, and the ring bearer was the cutest ever. Judge the photos for yourself. Enjoy the video of Chase dancing (he lip-synched too, during the couple's first dance) and then making a bee-line for the cake table. Just like his mother...:) Congrats, Scott and Monica!!!

A Good Reason to Boogie

2007-08-27T17:03:00.000-07:00

This is what a batchelorette party looks like when Olio performers are involved. We require themes, complete with costumes and general shenanigans. Susie, our blushing bride seen here, chose a "swan" costume - an old favorite for many of us - and jazzed it up with her classy veil and faux horn-rimmed glasses (from a different number all together). Others, decided on, uh, well, less conservative numbers? We had flower girls in polka-dots, and bridesmaids wearing their favorites from weddings gone by. Mine? I last wore "Brownie" for Abbie's wedding. Also seen pictured is my buddy Steph wearing "Big Red" from Sarah's nuptuals. Susie was lucky enough to have great friends and her gorgeous daughter (who recently became engaged herself) join her on a night out. We performed the show, hopped in a limo van, and headed to a karaoke/dance party hotspot known as the Timber Inn. Classy in every way, we fit right in with the Saturday night ambiance. As you can see from the photos, I was held at gunpoint and forced to perform my classic, "The Rose," complete with trademark interpretive dance moves. You can see I was provided with back up from the Swan Dancers. After whooping it up, we were graciously shuttled by our friend Kenny to our hotel rooms. The next day we were rewarded for our many entertaining efforts with breakfast at Butch's. Six Readers, Butch is the banjo player for our shows who lives in a Swiss Family Robinson inspired home he designed himself. No joke. Butch not only cooks like a champ (we were treated to mimosas and a tasty, greasy, "logger breakfast"), but has a pool. This was the perfect combination for our danced-out bodies. Although no one likes to see a good party end, we are already planning for Jenny's batchelorette party next summer. It's nice to have something to look forward to, after all. So congratulations, Susie! I love you dearly, and know you and Ed will be hitched forever! And isn't that what a good batchelorette party is for? Oh, no? It's just for an excuse for a girl's night out? Well, I'll take it and run with it either way.

The End of Summer Approaches...

2007-08-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

And should this be my outfit for the first day of school? This is my last week left of vacation (inservice is next week), and my last Sawduster show is this weekend. This will be capped off by a gi-normous batchelorette party with the Olio ladies. I am excited, but skeptical that my elderly sleeping habits will interfere with a good time. Then it's work, work, work, and my sister in-law's wedding over Labor day weekend (we are super excited, Monica!). As usual, I have reached the point in my summer where I'm looking forward to returning to school anyhow. The rain here is helping to put me back in "fall" mode. I'll have a fresh batch of first graders, and a few more grad classes to take. Chase will be taking his POTTY-TRAINED self to preschool (more on these items later). Shawn will be a full-time student in the fall too. It sounds super-cheesy, but it seems to be a great time of change in our household. I've been having several "time marches on" moments, as I'm sure a few of you can relate to. All Six of You enjoy your last weeks of summer. I'm off to watch my TiVo'ed Big Brother After Dark while I still have the time!

380 Days Later...

2007-08-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

What a difference a year makes!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

2007-08-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it is August already! Yesterday I thought it was time to go on all the outings that we haven't gotten around to this summer. Well, we didn't go on all of them yesterday, but we DID go to the Wildlife Safari in Winston. It is a drive-thru safari, where you drive through the habitats and see all the animals through the safety of your vehicle (no convertibles allowed). Chase absolutely loved it - except when animals were lurking in places he couldn't see. Three year-old appropriate mini-tantrums followed. Hayden was into it at first, but then he thought the car didn't move fast enough. Cue the portable DVD player - at least he didn't have to pay an admission. The pictures of the animals you see here are the ones Chase demanded I take, and then show him immediately on the camera. Hmmm... it occurs to me that I might have taken pictures of the animals he couldn't see, and showed him right away? Of course I do not come up with these genius ideas until it is no longer appropriate to use them... I was impressed with Chase's ability to name all of the animals (I suppose I shouldn't be, because he is three and the smartest kid I know). However, my terrible parenting skills shone through when he corrected my pronunciation of "cheetah," calling him a "cheeto." Yikes. After we drove through the large exhibits, we visited the "Safari Village," which contained more animals, a petting zoo, and other novelties. Shawn and I both remember taking elephant rides when we were younger, but we didn't even go there for this trip! We did ride the safari train (duh), and take some cute shots with these animal faces. And now if you'll excuse me, I must go and see what my little animals are doing. I hear growling in the background.

Camping in Suspect Weather

2007-07-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

We have been camping for the last few days at Laverne park (Six Readers, this is twenty minutes from my house -- we don't like to travel far from the TiVo). Thank God for the trailer, with its heat, electricity, running water, blah, blah. It was humid/occasionally rainy, and persistently overcast. At least I didn't worry about sunburns, or attempting to clean sandy buns at the swimming hole. I realize I may sound a bit prissy, and perhaps I am. I was not raised with a love of camping; although my grandparents used to take my brother and I to Thousand Trails (camping "resorts" with indoor pools and nightly activities at the lodge -- Kellerman's on wheels) when we were young. Hey, I did allow my children to run wild and bathless for four days. Baby steps. Here is Chase enjoying his first S'more ("choco-late sammitch"):

And here is Hayden inside the pull-out, making faces to his brother outside. It was so funny, I just had to keep taking pictures. Then I remembered the teething/runny nose situation and had to run for the antibacterial Windex. Baby steps, I told you.

A woman camping a few spaces away noted my bravery, "taking those two small boys camping." I remarked that she should have seen us last year when Hayden was a newborn. I think I saw her physically shudder at the image on her way to the river with her school-age kiddos. Mmm... And I didn't even mention Chase's application of the "five-second rule" while dining in the wild. Perhaps I am braver than I thought...

Beans, Beans...

2007-07-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

...the musical fruit. I'm not sure if they are musical, but my kids sure do love them. I felt lazy the other night, so we ordered Mexican food out. I did have a major mess on my hands though. I'm not sure that this photo shows justice to the bean-anza. Shawn admired that Hayden not only uses his hands to shovel food in, but also his arms as well. This is followed by running fingers through hair and flinging burrito chunks on the floor to express our appreciation to the chef. Two baths later, I am still discovering beans reminants between toes and in ear crevices. Next time I'll just get off my hump and turn on the stove.

Happy 4th To You!

2007-07-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics of the boys having fun in the sun yesterday...

And no, we still don't like setting off fireworks.

Mexico, Zoos, and Trains

2007-06-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

That title may sound like a bad Vin Diesel movie, but it was my last week. We are back from vacation. Again, for the six of you out there reading my blog, a few of you may not have known that my husband took me to Cabo for our five year wedding anniversary. I have two words for all of you (actually 1?): ALL-INCLUSIVE. Meals? Included. Drinks? Included. Room Service? Included. I SWAM up to the bar for a FREE drink. For those of you who may have enjoyed the phenomenon known as "all-inclusive," I realize you may be amused by my amazement. You must understand that it has been a while since anyone has served me an alcoholic beverage; and no one has ever had the pleasure of serving me POOLSIDE. I apologize for the need to use cap locks profusely. I shall change the subject now.

Upon arriving Stateside, we picked up our boys and headed to Portland for a weekend of family fun (because hotels, toddlers, and luggage up the ying/yang for two days CAN be fun, I assure you). Saturday was the zoo. Chase is the perfect age for this sort of thing. He loved being right up close to the animals through glass. He could've stayed at the penguin tank all day. We then headed to the Children's Museum next door. We had a good time, but people began to get cranky. Included is a picture of Hayden there before diapers, hunger, and fatigue became issues. Had we had enough fun yet? No way! Sunday we headed to Hood River to have our long anticipated, "Day Out With Thomas." Prior to boarding the passenger cars pulled by the famous engine, we engaged in some Thomas schenanigans. These included, but were not limited to purchasing expensive items in gift shop, obtaining balloon animals which teething little brothers will pop at a later date, and playing with pre-structured wooden Thomas tracks that will not be ours too keep. Here you see Chase's first tattoo: James the red engine (we will cry when his face rubs off in the tub three days later). We boarded the train with the "real" Thomas engine (which doesn't really pull the train, but let's keep that information on the DL), for a 30-minute ride through the Hood River scenery. Thomas music played throughout the journey, and everyone received their co-engineer certificates signed by Sir Toppomhatt himself. I realize this means nothing to you if you are not familiar with the inhabitants of the Island of Sodor, but trust me, someone is sleeping with that certificate right now. And after that? A quick stop at "HappyDonald's," and a grueling five-hour car ride home. Worth all the tears, yawns, and fits about never returning to the hotel elevator? Completely. But I am ever so glad to be home.

Essure? Ah... Sure!

2007-06-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

So, perhaps a few of you (from the six people who read my blog) already know I recently had a procedure. I have had some problems of the woman variety for about a year, and it turns out that I had twin polyps in my uterus (sorry, ladies, but I didn't get a copy of the ultrasound picture for that one). Naturally, my doctor wanted to remove them during a hysteroscopy. My response? "While you're in there, do you think...?" And so, he turned me on to the new alternative to tying/burning/squishing tubes. I need not explain, as the lovely diagram to the right does it for me. I will tell you that I had general anesthesia, and I felt FINE the next day. Just like a nasty period. Vicatin and Ibuprofen are my friends. And now micro-inserts are too. Some of you may be wondering (or not, if I have spoken to you recently) how I feel about never reproducing again. The idea of it may sound sad, but I am relieved. I spent my young adult life preventing pregnancy. Then there was a brief period of time when I took pregnancy tests and hoped they were positive (Mom, I promise I have only peed on three sticks - one for Chase and two for Hayden; I couldn't get his test results for 48 hours). But I feel accomplished knowing that my child-conceiving days are finished. Not to brag, but I did expunge two amazing boys from my uterus. In conclusion, I whole-heartedly recommend this procedure to those of you ready to say no to birth control pills and contractions. The rest of you may make babies with my blessing.

Alice Cooper and I agree,

2007-06-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

SCHOOOOOOOOL'S.... OUT!....FOR.... SUMMER!!!!!

Really?!

2007-05-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

is the name of a new segment on the SNL Weekly Update with Amy Pohler and Seth Myers. I have a Really?! segment of my own, and so if you are familiar, put yourself in the mindset. If not, I apologize in advance for my ramblings. Ready? Maureen, you thought you would take a personal day today. Really? You figured since dress rehearsal week was half over, you would take a day to relax and sleep in? Really? You didn't think Chase would wake up twice during the night, Shawn would go on a call at 4:30, and that Hayden would want to be awake at 5:54?! Really?! That didn't occur to you at all? OK, so then when you did get out of bed, you decided to take a shower with the bathroom door open. Really? This was a good idea because the baby wouldn't try to pull back the shower curtain, leaving gigantic water puddles which he played in while you feverishly attempt to rinse shampoo from your hair?! Really!!! When everyone is ready for grandma's (because you scheduled a hair appointment at 9:00. Really?) you head out. Drop them off, get a haircut, pick them up, and head back for home, thinking you'll make macaroni and cheese, because YOUR house NEVER runs out of macaroni and cheese. Really? Well, apparently, today is the day for nevers. Peanut butter and jelly it is. Nap time? Really? Nice try. Hayden plays in his crib for 90 minutes, and then has a screaming fit. You rock him from screaming to dozing. He will nap? REALLY?!!!! He dozes off for an entire 10 minutes. So here you are with your cranky kids and a dress rehearsal facing you in 2 hours. Really. You would've had a more relaxing day at work. Really.

Showtime!

2007-05-17T21:43:00.001-07:00

The next summer season at the Sawdust Theater is about to get started. Sunday marks the beginning of "Hell Week," where every evening is spent in rehearsal. Next Friday is opening weekend! If you have never been, it is worth your time. Where else can you see me in attractive ensembles like these? There is a can-can, tap dancing, and general ridiculousness. Oh yeah, and there is a play too. All set in the 1890's melodrama theme. Check out the fabulous website http://www.sawdusttheatre.com/index.htm. Personally, I am excited to show off a little leg with my recent 30-pound weight loss. Not too much leg - it is a family show! Alright, I am finished with my mini-commercial. Just thought I would send you a how-do-ya-do before I am knee-deep in blue eyeshadow and glitter next week. With a house full of men I'll take girly where I can get it...

Hayden is One!

2007-05-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hayden is one year old. Honestly, it may sound so cheesy, but I cannot BELIEVE it. Gone are my nights of sleepus interruptous for bottles (although my sleep is often interrupted for random bouts of crying, sippy cups of water, and general discontent). Buh-bye to formula, random spit-up on work clothes, and food in the hair -- of myself and others.The man got a haircut. Here you see him enjoying the perks of being one year old (cake, pizza, and a hot set of Mickey ears). Below you see the first haircut. Chase followed suit and didn't throw a screaming fit. I didn't take any pictures - I don't like to look a gift horse in the mouth. Yes, I know I need a cut too. Mine is coming next week, when I take a personal day. More on that topic to follow.

Here is Chase devouring some cake of his own. People ask if I'm going to miss babyhood. The answer is NO, without hesitation. I can't wait until Hayden is Chase's age. That one is a riot. He gave Hayden his present with a big, "Surprise!"Very cute until you realize the small gift is just a distraction to get the unsuspecting victim to move away from the really cool, new birthday toys. Next year Hayden will be old enough to figure that out. I guess some of us will miss babyhood more than others.

Happy Anniversary!

2007-05-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

Gary and Nancy -- Halloween 1983.

32 years! I should be so lucky! I love you!

Tell Me You Are Watching This TV Trash!

2007-04-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

Alright. It turns out this is the fourth season of the prime-time phenomenon known as Dancing With The Stars. I turned on just this season (as I'm sure many 30-something women did) to watch Ian Ziering, previously of 90210 fame. And although I watched the first episode solely to see how Steve Sanders dances, I became hooked immediately -- much like a crack-addict who knows that it is completely horrible to ingest something with so many toxins. Let me tell you, there are plenty of toxins on this awful program. From Billy Ray Cyrus (the name itself toxic), to Leeza Gibbons -- and those are just the competitors! The Tuesday night elimination show could EASILY be 5 minutes in length, but it is drawn out over an hour with professional dancers and performers such as SURVIVOR. Not kidding. Eye of the Tiger, baby. Why do I watch? I cannot tell you. Honestly. I crave poopy TV. Ask my husband about my inexplicable compulsion to watch Celebrity Fit Club (Tiffany, and Marsha Brady fighting with Screetch. Are you KIDDING me?!). But that is a celeb-reality endorsement for another day. In the meantime I'll be tuned in to former boy-band idols dancing Sambas in Star Wars costumes. You think I made that up? Tune in to ABC this Monday and find out!

A Compare/Contrast Piece

2007-04-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

Chase at 10 months old:Hayden at 10 months old: Now that I have two children, comparisons are inevitable. Here are the two subjects, each at 10 months old. Chase never sat in a high chair for more than 10 minutes -- Hayden will stay in one for hours, if occupied. Chase was happy to play alone, but Hayden must be able to touch you at all times, lest he begin wailing. Hayden has much better fine motor at 10 months, and will sleep in his crib all night (instead of Mommy and Daddy's bed), however he will wake more often. Hayden is harder to bring out of a funk. Chase was a Wiggles man, and Hayden prefers Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. They both love the remote control, cell phones, and loud noises. At 10 months, both will follow the vacuum cleaner by crawling, making it near impossible to pick up crumbs and pet hair. They are both incredibly smart (I know, I'm the Mommy, but just let me finish)-- yesterday Hayden was playing with the ceiling fan remote. He began by pushing the buttons. Then he felt the wind from above. He looked up then back down and continued to play. After a minute or so he would push a button, and then look to see what the fan would do. Repeat, repeat. I love watching the internal hamster wheel turning. Chase is using words like "under," "behind," "terrible," and my personal favorite, "imagination." Not at 10 months of course, but I can't wait to see what his little brother will be doing at 3 years old. What will I be doing then? Vacuuming in peace, naturally.

What Has YOUR Mother Taught YOU?

2007-04-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

My own mother, who is worn out from teaching me life lessons.

My friend sent me this forward, and I had to laugh for every single one. My own mother did teach me a few of these, and I am currently teaching a few more to my boys. Absolutely RICH. Thank you, Abbynaka.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me a bout STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

God Bless TiVo

2007-03-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

Ah, my classwork is finished. Time to focus on my first love... No, not my husband. Children? Think again. My job?! Good one. It is time for me to throw myself completely into compulsive television watching! And what better time to start? Lost is all new, and I'm wondering why Jack is playing football with the Others while Charlie plots out new ways not to die on the other side of the island. Will Hugo start losing weight? And what's up with Locke's legs anyway? The Sopranos are returning FINALLY. What new self-absorbed plans will Janice have for herself? Will Tony get whacked in the end? I'm dying here! And let's not forget the finale of I Love New York this week! Chance or Tango - who do I want to win and why? Do I choose the one who tortures her

the most, or the one who she will love? Do I want Sistah Patterson to be outraged or subdued? It's all too much! What about the Amazing Race? Survivor? All My Children and weekend 90210 reruns? When will I find time to feed my kids and clean the house? TiVo should come with some sort of nanny option, I say. How can anyone be a parent with so much quality television out there? I gotta go put the kids to bed, so I can settle in with the latest episode of Rome. Catch ya later.

Ah, the Good Old Days

2007-03-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

I came across this gem and just had to share. This was taken a few days before Hayden was born. Lucky for my husband, I was unaware he was taking the picture. Jeez, I look like I'm smuggling a keg into a dorm room. Those pants, by the way, could fit a sumo wrestler. My good friend Amy is expecting. Any time I talk to her now, I become one of those annoying women who talked to me when I was pregnant. You know, the ones who just have to tell you their stories about swollen ankles and morning sickness and back labor and epidurals and/or c-section scars and blah, blah, blah. It's like we can't stop ourselves. I think there may be an unspoken bond between mothers -- we can't wait to induct someone else into our club. Sharing those horror stories must be a women's way of saying how excited we are for each other. So Amy, it may sound all about me, but I really feel that it's all about you!

PS: Amy, I am totally saving those pants for you!

In Case You Care...

2007-03-10T17:43:00.000-08:00

How is this for a recent picture? This was taken yesterday afternoon. Some people in this picture may or may be still wearing the same socks they were photographed in. Just kidding. Kind of. So for those of you keeping score on milestones reached for the March boys:

Chase can use a DVD player. Not kidding. Does this make me the world's best parent, or the world's worst parent? You may draw your own conclusions, just don't tell me what they are. Chase's favorite phrase right now: "Right this way," when he wants you to do something. This is accompanied by a hand gesture similar to Vanna White. Hysterical.
Hayden, who chooses not to sleep through the night, is a wee bit happier during the daylight hours. This makes everyone happier during the daylight hours. He is also crawling. All over. Must hide all objects you wish to keep drool-free (cell phones and remote controls are hot items around here lately). The gates are back up. There goes my fung-shw... fung-schwe... whatever. My living room was filled with half-eaten Nilla wafers and Legos anyway.

I Need a Hero!

2007-03-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

So after watching a near season of the NBC drama, I have had plenty of time to think of superpowers I wish I had. Do I want to read minds? See the future? Heal myself? Heck, no! Here is a list of powers this girl could really use:

the ability to blink at a poopy diaper and have it regenerated as a fresh, dry one.
the ability to lay a sleeping baby down at night and will him to stay that way until at least 7:30 a.m.
power to eat as much ice cream, pizza, or mac and cheese from KFC without gaining an ounce.
the power to create an extra Saturday whenever -- so that I can finish my homework and finish the latest episode of "I Love New York" on my TiVo.
the ability to keep my car interior free of 6 month-old McDonald's fries, junk mail, and coffee cups.

And my personal goal/mission/dream for 2007:

magically potty-train unwilling three year-olds!

Someone get me Mohinder Shuresh on the phone. If he can put me in touch with anyone with these truly useful abilities, perhaps I could pull a Peter Petrelli and absorb them!

One, Two, Three!!!

2007-02-19T13:29:00.000-08:00

It was a big birthday weekend here. Chase turned three (As one little Einstein would say, "I cannot BELIEVE it!). Here is the photo evidence:

Exhibit A: The Thomas the Tank Engine cake made with love by Gramma. Exhibit B: The second Thomas cake to feed the droves of birthday party-goers. Exhibit 3: Chase opening Thomas presents from Grammy and Grandpa while no one was looking.

Exhibits 4 & 5: Here Chase is oogling the new Thomas train set (do you see a theme here?)And here we are pouting that no one will let us open it until we get home. Note the frosting on the forehead.

And another birthday bites the dust. Soon he'll be driving cars, but for now trains are working just fine.

We're Standing Tall

2007-02-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

We are completely leaning on the coffee table, but hey - it keeps us busy for at least a half hour. Feet are wonderful things.

Life's Simple Pleasures

2007-01-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

And yet another vital milestone has been reached at the March house: The ability to tip the bowl and drink the remaining milk after eating cereal!

Gone are the days of endlessly attempting to drink the remaining milk with the spoon, leaving mini-puddles on the table and floor, and screaming when Mommy wants to take the bowl away too soon. You may not realize the significance of this if you do not have toddlers, but someday you will.

Someday you will.

It's Been Nice Knowing You...

2007-01-10T17:55:00.000-08:00

Alright. I often complain about this verbally, but now you can read all about it: I should have obtained my masters' degree PRIOR to having children. And now, as my program nears completion (I say "nears" because I am only 5 courses away -- these may take years to actually finish), the courses demand more and more. Two phrases that do not go together: "working mother," and "graduate student." Shawn is taking courses this term as well. At any given moment at the March house, someone is on the computer and someone is managing children. Occasionally this is the same person. At least we can fully empathize with each others' needs for completing assignments while juggling an 8 month-old on the lap. You may not hear from me until finals...

Wrong Red Hat!

2006-12-25T20:23:00.000-08:00

Perhaps that is the wrong title. How could a hat disguised as a lobster be wrong? I picked up this gem for myself, actually, at a gift shop in Booth Bay Harbor, ME, while wedding-ing. Chase has since inherited it. As you can see, he has found the humor in it. While it may not have white fuzzy trim and a pom-pom on the end, I think New Englanders would certainly find it festive.

Merry Christmas!

Channeling My Inner Molly Shannon

2006-12-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

Said in my best Shannon imitation, "I'm 30! 30 years old!" I am officially in middle adulthood. Whoopee! Here are some pictures taken at an impromptu March photo shoot -- remember those in college, ladies? I will post them immediately, so that the multitude of fans will stop clambering for new images of Chase and Hayden... and then I may have some birthday cake.

Trick or Treat!

2006-11-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

Here we are with the princess pre-trick-or treat... the little devil... and Thomas the Tank Engine!

This year marks our first official year of begging for candy door to door. The highlight of the night: Instead of saying, "trick or treat," at one house, Chase holds his bag open and says, "put the candy in the bag." Just like his momma!

Beaver Believers

2006-10-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

Football season is upon us! Here is a photo of the boys before Chase's first regular season OSU home game. Everyone is Beavered up, and ready to go -- all smiles because we haven't loaded in the car for the three-hour trek yet. We dropped Hayden off with Grandma, and went to the game. Chase loved the action, but we had to ply him with M&M's to get him to stay put for the durration of the game. Are YOU ready for some football?

Oh My Stars!

2006-10-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

I just love the face of discovery...

Vegas, Babies!

2006-09-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

"Why Maureen, did you spy any celebrities while in Vegas? " As a matter of fact, Sarah and I (with our reluctant husbands in tow) stalked the cast of Ocean's Thirteen to the Bellagio. We spied Andy Garcia and Al Pacino from the gawker section while they filmed a scene in a casino bar. Amy and Andrew grabbed a picture of the back of Bernie Mac's head, and were threatened to be kicked out of the casino. Also, Shawn and I met one of our many favorite reality TV stars. If you watch the Amazing Race, be JEALOUS!!! Yes, that IS BJ from the Hippies!

Here is Amy winning big at the penny "Lucky Seven" machine. That is her bonus dance. Her husband, Andrew, watches on in pride. Did any of us win big? Uh, no. But I enjoyed watching Sarah's fascination with the Star Wars machine...

Here are the six of us after our "last meal." We ate more food that you can imagine -- unless you know us, and have seen our mad eating skills in action. We took advantage of some awesome buffets, particularly the the Paris champagne brunch.

Amy's birthday dinner was at the Pink Taco in the Hard Rock Cafe. Here we pose with the infamous "Hit Me Baby One More Time" outfit that skyrocketed Britt's career. JEALOUS? We thought we looked attractive going out, but upon arrival at the HR, realized that we were wearing entirely too many clothes. I saw some WRONG tube tops...

While vacationing, the girls practiced our art of self-portrait taking. This way we didn't disturb complete strangers with our shenanigans. Here we are on a shopping excursion to purchase outfits for Cirque Du Soleil's O. What an amazing show. Great. Highly recommended. So is spending a long weekend with some of your favorite and dear friends.

Ahhh!

2006-09-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is the happy face of a woman whose children are napping. She may look a little worse for wear, but her soul is free.

Not Quite Broadway...

2006-09-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

And so the 40th season of the Sawdust Theater comes to a close. Last night was "closing," and so there were as many photo opportunities OFF stage as on. For those of you who have never been, The Sawdust Theater is performed in the melodrama style of the 1890's. There is a play (complete with heroes, villains, and damsels in distress[es?]). In between there are singing and dancing numbers called olios. This is the venue you can catch Yours Truly performing in most weekends between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Meet Amber Dawg. A natural brunette, she is seen here sporting her Marge Simpson hair. Here we have the "glow worms," just about to hit the stage with our shenanigans. You haven't really lived until 200 people see you in a black leotard and pink feelers, shakin' what yo' mamma gave ya. At least it's not a solo number. Here are Susie ("She's 50! 50 years old" - say that like Molly Shannon in the beloved SNL sketch), and David -- a few of my fellow performers, backstage enjoying some tasty beverages. And so, next summer, if you find yourself in Coquille, Oregon on a Friday or Saturday night, come on down to the Sawdust Theater. It is well worth the $12.50.

Reinstating the Nap Time

2006-08-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

Chase has been napless since 2005. Bummer, because newborns make Shawn and me very tired. Downtime? Usually 9 p.m., when the baby goes down. So my husband suggests that we reinstate our eldest's naptime. "Yikes," I think to myself. "He'll never go down at 8; he'll be running about like a lunatic during Letterman." This is not a premonition -- it is a flashback to 2005. However, against my better judgment, we gave naptime a try this week. I have been very pleasantly surprised. The baby has swingtime at 1:00, so with Chase asleep, I have two hands and no one crawling in my lap. I can shop online without anyone demanding the Thomas the Tank Engine website ("ahThomasonacomputah?"), or watch Tevo'ed Deadwood. The best part? Chase goes to bed at 8:00 without complaint! He may not fall asleep instantly, but he is quiet in his bed, which is all the mommy cares about. Conclusions? My husband is the smartest man in the world. Nap time rocks. And, if you cared about any of that, you will appreciate this too: Chase and Mommy had a Date Day today. Lunch at the exclusive KFC (mother and son share a love of the mac and cheese), ice cream at Baskin Robbins, and Chase's first trip to the movies! We saw Barnyard. While I sat marveling at the fact that I NEVER get to see a movie in the theater, and now I'm stuck listening to Courtney Cox in her role as an animated bovine, Chase was LOVING it. Which, I suppose, was the point. He came home and napped until 6:30. I am screwed, but happy. Nap on. Nap on.

Chillin' at the Swimmin' Hole

2006-08-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

Some fun at Laverne Park:

Sandy and gross...

but I am soooo cute! Is that the baby SMILING!?!

Unbelievable!

The March's "Roughing It"

2006-07-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

Well... We don't really "rough it," since we use a trailer. Ask Tim and Deana how I freaked out when we were temporarily without power. Chase had a blast playing with his lady friend and running about the riverbank barebottomed. As for the baby? Shawn and I decided we may have to move into our trailer and park it in Powers, as it seems to have calming effects over colic...

Haikus for You's

2006-07-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ode to The Colic

You always keep me guessing

with your evil ways

Do not know the time

You strike in drive-thru or store

The Public hates me

No talking on phones

The same thing never works twice

Bless the swing and sling

This poem must end

I am called by the screaming

Eighteen years to go

I know I am soooooo cute!

2006-07-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hello. Aren't I cute? I found Mommy's OSU hat and matched it with my jammies and mud boots. Too bad you aren't seeing the full effect here... Love, Chase

Pro-cras-tin-a-tion (To the Tune of "Anticipation")

2006-07-04T16:39:00.000-07:00

I used to think education majors who obtained their masters' degrees immediately following their BS's were just a little bit geeky. You know, they'd be overqualified - have trouble finding employment. We had been told horror stories in the School of Education about people who got their masters' in year five who had to settle for aide positions because no one wanted to pay them the higher salary -- go BU. I'll go back when I have more teaching experience. It will be more applicable. SCHAH, RIGHT. I have more experience alright. More experience in marriage. Like, I have one now (and did I mention that he is taking classes too?). More experience in child-rearing. Like, I have two of them. Why did I think it would be easier to wait? Mmmm... I think I was procrastinating. Like I procrastinate now while I write this blog instead of working on a project for class. Like I procrastinated cleaning the dungeon known as Chase's Room by reading STAR Magazine. Did you know that Nicole Kidman is pregnant? I hope SHE isn't trying to further HER education. I could write on much longer, but I must procrastinate somewhere else. Surely, there is something I could do instead of cooking dinner?

Zzzz...

2006-06-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

This is how normal people sleep.

This is not.

Yes. He is really asleep. It seems that he not only inherited his mother's ability to sleep anywhere, but he can also sleep in any position. Perhaps we can use this to our advantage. Think of the money we could save on travel if he will sleep in suitcases...